


Distractions

by NieRville



Category: Persona 5, Persona Series
Genre: A couple of f-words, Communication, Emotions make you beautiful, F/M, Feeling sexual but no explicit content, Hurt/Comfort, Insecurity, Love, Making Out, Slooooow kisses, Some Humor, working out
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-15
Updated: 2018-02-08
Packaged: 2019-03-05 05:46:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,971
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13381428
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NieRville/pseuds/NieRville
Summary: Makoto fears that others, including Ren, only see her as a robot. She wants to prove them wrong. Unfortunately, it's not that simple, and she finds out that her own insecurities are her greatest enemy.Luckily she has a great and loving boyfriend.





	1. I - Wherein Makoto has a plan

**Author's Note:**

> The third chapter has now been pretty thoroughly revised from an E-rated to T. And it's not just little details — the latter half of it is all new.

Without proper care and concentration, it is easy to forget to nurture the balance and connection between body and mind. Sometimes we forget the mind and only train the body. At other times the emphasis is on the mind. For students, examination weeks are a common pitfall that lead some to procrastinate and neglect the mind; and others, to over forget their body by overfocusing on studying.

Makoto Niijima knew that she had reputation for being a stuck-up pathologico-analytical authoritarian. That, or a robot with no free will of her own that only utilized her (or its?) intellect to effectively ascend a path chosen by someone else. She couldn't tell which was worse. Maybe some people thought she was both? A fascist robot? She had to admit that those badmouths and her inner doubts had not been altogether wrong about her. It was easier to admit now, after she had chosen to change her life and join the Phantom Thieves. 

What almost everyone misunderstood about her was how devoted she was to her wellbeing. She took rigorous care of her physique, maintained a balanced diet, and studied hard. That took time and effort. She had just forgotten to take care of the balance in her soul, and to have some fun.

Well, some people just couldn't see her in a good light. She was trying to accept that. But Makoto was shocked to learn that even her new friends still sometimes saw her as somewhat stiff and rigid. She could sometimes sense it in their expressions, and Ren Amamiya, her best friend and boyfriend, had intimated as much. They didn't realize that during test weeks Makoto always ate according to a strict diet, even by her standards, and engaged in physical exercise to keep herself relaxed and fit, and her brain oxygenated. She wasn't some robot stuck in her educated head! She could think about and do other things.

Then, she had discussed it with Ren, and she found out that she hadn't actually talked about that to anyone. She had just assumed that her close ones saw her for the reasonable, balanced being that she thought she was and wanted to be. But miraculously they hadn't been able to read her thoughts or decipher the signals transmitted by her exceptionally expressive eyes.

But if there was one good thing everyone knew about Makoto Niijima, it was that when it mattered, she was decisive and unafraid to take action even in spite of her reputation or other consequences. Today, she was eager to show that side of herself to Ren.

*

She showed up at Leblanc after school to study English with Ren. Sitting in the booth of the cafe with his books, Ren had expected Makoto to arrive with a pile of books of her own. So when Makoto came carrying on her shoulder her signature black and white gym bag, Ren was, for once, left speechless. Makoto was clearly satisfied with herself. She smiled with her eyes and mouth both, and she strode with determination past him towards the stairs that would take her to his room.

She smiled at how good it felt to surprise Ren. The smile turned to an almost audible laugh when she heard Ren rise from the booth right after she laid her first step upon the stairs.

*

"Weren't you kids supposed to study?" asked Sojiro with his usual mixture of sternness and warmth. Ren thought he heard an extra dash of amusement in his voice. He rose and started to gather his books, but Sojiro told him to leave them there, so he followed Makoto upstairs and caught her at the top of the stairs, where she was standing in wait.

"I almost thought you wouldn't come, Ren-kun". She smiled.

"I'm surprised, Mako-chan." He sounded entirely unrattled. Whatever did it take to make him lose his composure?

"I realized that I might have given you the impression that I only want you to read books right now. It is important, yes, but I thought we could take a break and exercise together."

Had Ren been any other person she had ever met, she'd have expected him to raise an eyebrow. But she had learned that the boy had a range of expressions all his own. His favorite seemed to be the surprisingly versatile maneuver where he stood straight, hands in his pockets, looked through his non-prescription glasses, and just stayed silent for an unpredictable amount of time. His bangs added to the effect and she often wondered how he ever saw anything. But that wasn't the full extent of his maneuver — he always finished it by waving his hand languidly and stated what he thought. He did it now, too.

”Okay, I'll change first.”

Now it was he who had surprised her and revealed her own lack of foresight! Of course he would need to change! She was perplexed. All she could do was stand still and turn her face away from the boy's room — and his soon presumably half-naked figure. She heard a rustle, probably from him lifting his white pullover his head; then, the click of his belt. She took that as her cue to descend back downstairs.

She went to the counter and asked Sojiro for water. A glass. Or two, actually. And a decanter. Filled with it. Water. And maybe some of that former composure of mine back, please, Sojiro, if you have any in stock. That last one she only thought — she hoped. Ren really had an odd, unforeseen effect on her.

Sojiro had turned his back at her to prepare the water. She explained how Ren needed to change and he turned his head. What was that look in his face? Sojiro seemed so weary at times, but his smile was so genuine. She heard him cut some ice and put it in a decanter. He turned and gave the glassware on a paulownia tray. She thanked him with a bow.

"Are you coming?"

Makoto started at hearing Ren's voice. She looked to the stairs and the sight of him in his ruby red gym clothes and white t-shirt did nothing to support her recovery from her agitated state. He closed the distance between them within a blink of Makoto's eye, but that may have been due to the fact that this time Makoto's blink took a good while longer than was usual.

She felt him take a hold of the tray. Makoto opened her eyes.

”Your turn to change. I'll take these”, said Ren in a temperate voice.


	2. II - Wherein Makoto's carefully laid out plans suffer a setback and she overcomes a terrifying opponent

Intimacy was a weird thing, Makoto thought — but only if the mixture of bashfulness, excitement, and less than lucid analyzing of her situation could properly be called thinking. She had been in Ren's room before. He had seen her naked. She had seen him naked. They had made love. They had talked about it, and once or twice, they'd even called it fucking, which for its vulgarity had felt even weirder in her mouth than some other things that were new to her.

Her own thoughts made herself blush. She also realized she had only taken her shirt off, which was not exactly the most efficient change of clothes she could imagine.

But yes, she had bared her all to him. They had shared a lot. And still, she found being alone in Ren's bedroom almost unbearably intimate. Or maybe intrusive was the right word? Invasive? Could she take her skirt off without him being here? 

Yes, she could and had to. She had permission. 

Why hadn't she changed into her gym clothes at home? 

Makoto opened her skirt and dropped it to her ankles. She realized she even had her regular panties on! She couldn't work out in those. But she could change here. No one could see her. Rise Kujikawa didn't have her eyes open. And she was just a poster, right? And Jack Frost, he was just a doll. But would he see her? ”Hee — I can see! Ho, Queen's panties!” Would one of those say so the next time they were in Mementos? She'd beat that one to dust! After she had shot it dead.

Wait, why was Rise Kujikawa in Ren's room in the first place? She was so perfect with her auburn twin tails and her perky breasts and that voice of hers and the positive youthful energy. Wasn't Makoto enough for Ren? She felt her fists clench and blood rush in to her cheeks. She would show him! She would show him who the beautiful one is!

”Are you done?” called Ren from down the stairs. His voice was enough to return her confidence in him.

”Uummm... Just a minute!”

She felt she was in a hurry. She took the shirt and the skirt and strode toward Ren's bed. She folded the clothes perfectly and lay them on the bed. She then pulled the blanket, and sat on the bed, and slipped off her panties. Wait, she had left her gym back in the middle of the room. She held the blanket around her chest and went for the bag and almost tripped on her panties. They were still around her ankles. This was getting ridiculous, she berated herself. And she was already sweating. Maybe they didn't have to work out at all. But Ren — Ren had to. That's why she was here. To take care her boyfriend took proper care of himself, and to bond with him, and well, yes, her idea wasn't just a sweaty workout, but to focus on the body as well. To take her mind off things. To think less.

Yes, wasn't she doing great on that front. She could imagine the boy downstairs, holding his hand on his chin, dreaming and dreamy, taking his time.

Pick up the panties, run to the bag, grab the bag, white and black bag, sit on the bed, forget the blanket, just take those clothes off and stop making yourself ridiculous. Bra off. Open the zipper on the bag. Take out the gym clothes, neatly folded, sleeveless shirt modestly on top — no. No, no, no, no, no. She only had her black top with her. The one that left her stomach naked. The sleeveless white shirt had to be there somewhere. At the bottom. Black top, panties. Dark grey gym pants, towel, hygiene bag.

Black top, panties. Dark grey gym pants, towel, hygiene bag.

That shirt had to be there.

Black top, panties. Dark grey gym pants, towel, hygiene bag.

No hidden bottom in this bag, right? The tiny pocket didn't have it either. What about that hygiene bag? Open up, Buchimaru! Which reminded her: she should finally send a gift to that wonderful young man in Inaba who made these by hand. His honesty and warmth had made quite an impression on her and she took his calling card and swore to buy more. He had blushed when she complimented him on his handiwork.

No, Buchimaru didn't hold the shirt either. How could it have?

”Makoto, is everything okay?”

”Yes! I just... thought I'd lost something!”

From a purely logical point of view, the statement wasn't entirely true. But could her inner logician please step down for a minute? She had other things to do and she was naked. 

Jack Frost was looking at her.

She looked down at herself. At her naked breasts. And her lower body. At least she was in a really good shape. Take that, shadow creature doll. She showed her tongue to it. Then she picked up her sports panties and pulled them on. She looked at the doll again. Then left, and right. No one could see her. She turned her breasts to point at Jack Frost and with indolence, perked them up. It's my body and I can do whatever I want with it! Creep.

She took the black sports top and put it on. Then the pants. She left her feet naked. They didn't need socks here. Besides, her feet were the one thing she'd always thought were very pretty. Nice bones, nails beautiful in their natural lustre and symmetry, cute toes. Nicely proportioned in every way, she thought. 

All there. Pants, panties (she peeked inside the pants), black top. Oh, wait. Her hairband had dropped to the floor. She bent over to pick it up, bending at the hip (warm up and stretching), and placed it in her hair. 

There.

”I'm ready!”


	3. III - Wherein Makoto and Ren train both body and self-control

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has been thoroughly revised. It used to be an E-rated tease, but I completely rewrote it and took the characters in a different direction as well.

Ren's black mane was, of course, the first thing Makoto saw when the young man ascended the stairs. Then the ruby red sports jacket made its presence known. Makoto stood there staring, transfixed — captivated by the arrival of her lover. 

The boy took the final step and stood on the attic floor. His feet were bare, too. But otherwise, as Makoto had known, he wore a lot more clothes than she did. But she didn't feel awkward anymore. Her battle of wills with the stuffed doll had given her confidence and much needed nonchalance. She knew that she had nothing to be ashamed of. Besides, by the look on Ren's face, he didn't seem to mind. He looked at her and corrected his glasses, and left the hand on his chin.

He combed through his hair with his hand. The gesture itself seemed to make him smile just a bit, and the barely perceptible lifting of his chin was just as effective. He said:

”You clearly have a plan. What did you have in mind?”

”We have been studying a lot. We clearly need to study, but I realized that a monomaniac focus on books won't do us good.” She had said almost as much earlier. Present some new information, Makoto, if you would. ”I mean, I don't want us to forget everything else. A week is just a week, but a lot can happen during a week. And if we're only stuck in one position, our bodies are bound to tense up.”

Ren was smiling. Was he making fun of her?

”And that would hamper our efforts in school, in Metaverse, and in, um, Mementos.”

”I was feeling lazy. But okay, that sounds good. Better than studying. And Sojiro will bring us curry soon, so it fits. And I can make you coffee.”

”Yes, I'd like that very much. Thank you...”

Makoto held her eyes on her boyfriend and savored the pause. It was a short one, but she wanted to really feel just how good it felt to say the next word.

”...Ren.”

”Happy to be of service. Now, you have a lot less clothes on than I... do. Want me to balance the situation?” He took a couple of steps closer and stopped.

That was below the belt! Sojiro was downstairs.

”I mean, I can give you one of my t-shirts. Sojiro is downstairs.”

Ren turned and walked to his clothes locker. Makoto looked at him. She liked his confident gait. He seemed to be at ease in his body, and not just in how he looked like — more on that later, said Makoto to herself — but it was something Makoto couldn't quite put a finger on. Well, she could, in fact, and she really liked doing that. In quite a lot of places. Lips and abs and... No, that was completely the wrong idiom here. Maybe it was that somehow Ren seemed to be at home in his body. He was both strong and his movements were graceful. Muscular, but slim. Smart, and athletic, and a great deal of fun. He was, she thought, a balanced combination of mind and body, masculine and feminine.

And he had a nice butt. Really nice. She got a good look at it while he was crouching for her shirt. She was also wondering whether she had just lost track of time or had the boy deliberately slowed down his movements. Makoto felt herself sweating already.

”I'm surprised you only took the top with you, Mako-chan.”

”Huh! Uhhh — yes, I must have misplaced it. I'm not sure what happened. I'm absolutely fine with it, though. But thanks. It's very considerate of you.”

Ren had stood up and turned around and was taking steps towards her.

”There. I hope it doesn't get too hot. Maybe we can take some clothes off after Sojiro goes out.”

”He's — he's taking off?” Makoto took the shirt to her hands.

”Yes, he said he had somewhere to go. He'll finish the curry and then leave.”

”Oh, that's... Does he do that often?” She then pulled the shirt over her head. Midway through, when her head was inside the shirt, she stretched herself a bit and stayed there a bit longer than was necessary.

”Every now and then. It wasn't fun at first, when I didn't have a key of my own here. Hey, your hairband.”

”Huh? Oh.” It had moved when she put on the shirt.

”Can I...?” He reached for it.

She took an instinctive step backward and put her hand on her head.

”Um...”

”You don't want me to?”

”It's... um... maybe sometime. Not now. It's...” She didnt know why. She was looking for a reason to back that up.

”Of course. Sorry.”

”Is that... is that okay? Don't you... want to know... I don't have to explain why?”

Ren didn't even blink and said, ”You said no. It's all the reason I need.”

Makoto was flustered by the boy's thoughtfulness. Gladly Ren was up to speed. He walked past her towards the bed — no, the window; same direction — and changed the subject.

”So, let's start. Pull-ups?”

She turned around and said, ”Pull-ups it is. Let me.”

Makoto strode to where Ren was and stood right in front of him. Feeling defiant, she looked up at him and smiled. She bended at the knees, threw her arms up, and jumped to take a grip of the pull-up bar. Her short sleeves had fallen, and she looked past her bare upper arm at him. He was looking at her well-toned bicep.

She pulled up — one, two, three, four. Landed on the floor, felt blood flowing, looked at Ren. ”Your turn now.”

He took a look at her arms. Then Ren unzipped his gym jacket and continuing the movement, took it off, and threw it haphazardly upon the bed. Now it was Makoto who looked at his arms. He passed by her, much closer than he needed to and about as close as Makoto desired.

He jumped and took a hold of the bar. Five. Easy. Landing and exhalation. So maybe not that easy. Some red on his cheeks and a hint of a glimmer on his skin.

”Let my arms rest some. But it feels good, doesn't it? Getting your mind off of things?”

”I know it does. I have to say I'm surprised you came up with the idea.”

Well, yes, I didn't want you to think I was a pre-programmed robot, that's why.

”Well, you know me and my dedication. I'm not as straightforward as some people think.”

She frankly couldn't believe what she was saying. And Ren seemed to realize that. He wasn't the most open of books, but there was one thing everyone knew about Makoto Niijima and it was that she was good with books. Divert his attention. Now!

She took the shirt off. With the touch of an expert, she folded it neatly and quickly and threw it onto the bed. It landed there neatly — right on top of Ren's ruby red jumble.

She looked at him in the eye.

”It was getting hot.”

Bar again. After four, she was beginning to feel it. Five, she felt pain. Six — yes, that would do. No! One more, she thought, and pulled until she almost couldn't take it, but her chin did go over the bar. Her landing crouch was a notch deeper than she wanted, but she took it in stride. Then, through a puff that she hoped was confident, she smiled at him and wiped some sweat off her forehead. She also liked how her upper arms looked like. Toned, with a hint of red, the light reflecting from the athletic sheen.

”Think you can match that?”

Ren had only two or three steps to take, but emphasized each of them with bravado. Makoto wasn't sure how much of it was irony.

The first four were easy again. The fifth, too. Sixth had him puffing. Looking at him, she wasn't sure he'd make seven. He slowed down and seemed to hesitate. Put he pulled, and pulled, and pulled off the seventh one. 

He kept his grip on the bar and hung there. He started for the eighth one. His movement was labored, and where he lacked physical strength, he seemed to fill the air with his determination. Even his sweat seemed to exude guts.

Makoto took a chance.

”Want some help?”

”Urggghhh. Uh. Huh.”

Makoto placed her hands on his hips. On the pants, but below the shirt. The way she was reading the situation, he wouldn't mind. She took some weight off him. He pulled off the eighth and let go.

”I concede defeat, Amamiya-kun.”

”Thanks, senpai”, he started, and gave her a small, sweaty kiss on the lips, ”but I couldn't have done it without you.”

He smelled good. And she liked the salt and the taste of his sweat.

She rose on tiptoes and gave him a kiss back. An equally short one.

That was maybe a bit too short.

Makoto again rose on tiptoes and kissed him on the lips; a kiss that she was in no hurry to end. She put her hands on his cheeks. His skin felt soft and sweaty. Some strands of his hair caressed her fingers. He felt warm and wet.

She pulled her head back, and looked at him. He had such a happy, sweet look in his blue eyes. Makoto felt like her cheeks were made of honey and she had a wide smile.

She put her hands on his chest and, filled with enthusiasm, said:

”Are you altogether exhausted? Or do you think you could handle some more weight?”

Ren's widening smile was the affirmation she needed. Makoto raised her hands and put them around his neck, then jumped. Ren received her by taking a hold of her thighs and buttocks. Nice grip on the fingers, she noticed, and swung her legs around his waist.

He said, ”For such a fierce warrior, you're light as a feather”.

That lit a fire in her, and that fire must have shone from her eyes, for his eyes lit up as well. They started into a kiss at the same time, meeting halfway; tender, warm kissing. Ren's strength carried her, and she safely swayed in his firm hold. The swaying was slow and rhytmic, like a slow dance in the tune of their own dizzying passion, to the beat of their racing hearts.

Makoto pulled her lips away.

”You're pretty strong for a smart guy”, she said. Nice, Makoto. That's some wit.

”Mmm.” He gave her a kiss, barely longer than a heartbeat. ”I've had good motivation to keep up the exercise.”

”What, fighting for Justice?”

”Oh, that's just my duty.” Another kiss, this time on her neck. My, wasn't that a sensitive point there. Just a kiss there made her legs squeeze him harder and she didn't even have to think about it.

”More?”

”Mm-hm.”

Ren kissed her there again. And again. Then, suddenly and seemingly without effort, raised her up some and placed his left hand under her butt. His right hand he raised to her hair and twisted his finger into her hair, and he kissed again. She felt as if each of his kisses created within her an amorous pulse. By instinct, she amplified the sensation by moving her hips against him.

”I... hope that... mm-mh!... Sojiro doesn't... see us. Ooh, there. Mmmmore.”

”He's a...”, he moved his tongue up her neck and quickly nibbled on her lower lip, ”gentleman. He wouldn't disturb a young woman without warning.”

”Oh, good. You're lucky to have such a kind landlord.”

”Mm, and that's just...”, Ren began, and suddenly brought his right hand to her butt as well and with both hands, threw her upwards. She let out a happy spontaneous yelp, and he received her so that his one arm carried her legs by the knees and the other arm held her upright around her back. He spun her around a few times and then looked her in the eye.

Those blue eyes seemed to blaze with fire that sent a chill through her. He held his face a short distance away from hers.

And he continued, ”...the tip of the iceberg of how lucky I am.”

She wanted to kiss him there and then, but his fingers had crept up the back of her neck and spun around the hair there. His grip kept her from the kiss.

”But!” he said.

But what? She felt that she was about to swoon, like a heroine of old.

”We should exercise!”

”Mm-mmhhh!!”

”We really should”, he said, and planted his lips on hers again. The kiss made Makoto hunger for his more of his touch. She put her own hands to his hair and let him feel her desire.

Makoto felt happy that Ren kept the kiss. He lowered her to the floor, feet first, then butt, and finally, gently, she let her back roll to the wooden floor. Makoto lay there and Ren set himself to a push-up position on top of her. He stayed there, looking at her, panting, smiling.

She smiled back and watched sweat creep down some strands of his hair. It made it to the tip of the strands, formed a big drop and drip, dropped straight to her lips. It tickled and made her laugh and it tasted good.

”Can I have... one more kiss, please?”, she said, and pulled him by the front of his shirt. He lowered himself, and kissed her on the mouth. It felt full and luscious. 

Then, he slowly pushed himself up, because apparently he hadn't shown off his strength enough yet, and, if she was totally honest with herself and it wasn't very difficult at this point, because she quite enjoyed the sight.

”Now, exercise”, he panted. ”Push-ups? Squats?”

”A-a glass of water... would be nice”, she said.


	4. Chapter IV — Wherein Makoto becomes lost in the subtlety of life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not perfectly happy with this, but I'm trying to overcome my perfectionism. So here goes. I want to finish this.

Makoto and Ren sat down. Ren on his bed, Makoto on the chair beside it. The humid glass of water cooled her warm, sweaty hands. She exhaled, inhaled, let her breathing calm down some, and brought the glass to her lips. Simple pleasures.

”I love simple pleasures likes this”, Ren said. ”Still, I sometimes forget how good mere water can taste.”

”Especially when it's ice cold.”

”Have you ever used an ice pick?”

”No, I haven't”, she said.

”Sojiro is good with one. Did you take a look at the ice in the decanter?”

Makoto craned her head over the decanter. Two blocks of ice floated on the surface. They had already melted quite a bit, but she gave the decanter a swirl. She wasn't sure, but it was almost as if there were two hearts in there. She blushed.

Ren noticed her reaction.

”Sojiro is like that, too”, he said, and smiled.

She was startled. ”Does he...?”

”... suspect something? It could be a wish too! Or a blessing.”

”I'm... not sure how to take it...”

Ren rose up from the bed. ”He means well. I'd be hard pressed to name someone sweeter.” He walked up to her and gave her a kiss. ”But I can think of someone. Shall we continue?”

”H-huh?”

”The exercise! That's what we came here to do. What you came here to do. Slave-driver.”

He smiled, with . But... slave-driver? Was it a joke? It felt like a joke. But she couldn't be sure. And even if it was, was there some truth to it? Was she already taking this too far?

Or was she just once more thinking too much?

Makoto felt dizzy again. She didn't usually feel this way — this insecure. She was smart and perceptive and also good at reading people and helping them. Now she felt she couldn't read the intentions and the emotions behind Ren's words.

She wanted to trust him. But could she? She didn't want to be left alone again. 

”I'm... not sure! We can do other things, too.” 

”I think you're right with this. Exam weeks are a great exercise. There's this girl—” A girl? Who? ”—who taught me how good it is to learn to put in some effort in the face of difficulty.”

She had trouble processing his words. A girl? ”W-who was that?”

He laughed. ”She's about this tall”, he said and put his hand right above her head, ”and her lips feel somewhat like...”

A kiss again. She was starting to feel exceptionally stupid and insecure. She was blushing and heard the blood rushing in her ears.

”H-huh?! Y-yes. My father taught me that.” Her father... ”He said... that intelligent people can have it too easy. They might never learn to work to overcome difficulties, because they find school so easy. But, he said, life won't be easy.” A pang in her heart. That sounded all too prophetic now. ”So it's better to challenge yourself in time.” 

Ren smiled. ”He sounds like a great father. I wish I'd known him.”

A moment of silence.

Then, Ren's soft inquiry. ”Is that why you're so determined in school?”

For a further moment, she was lost in thought and emotion. ”I guess. A part of it, at least.” Sae, too. And who knew what else. The last few months had taught her even how her own psyche was full of surprises. It was best not to settle on a definitive answers.

”You're smart enough to go through school with minimal effort. Yet you still give it your all...”

”I'm glad that you understand, Ren.”

”Mm. Now, some exercise?”

She heard Sojiro shout from downstairs.

”Hey kids, I'm leaving! Would you come down here for a second?”

So, no exercise then.

”Just a minute!” shouted Ren. He lowered himself to a push-up position and looked at Makoto, calling her to do the same. She set herself in front of him and left a safe distance between them both to guard against their heads butting accidentally and their lips touching, much less accidentally.

”Can you do this?” he asked, lowered himself down, and launched himself into a plyometric push-up, where his hands lifted up from the ground.

She felt a mischievous devil being born inside her. She smirked and gave her a look and started doing the same push-ups.

Ren counted. Makoto counted. Ren counted to ten. Makoto counted to thirteen.

Panting, sweating, they stood up and exchanged glances. Smirked. Ren was closer to the bed, and he went and picked up her folded t-shirt. He presented it to her with both hands and bowed in silence. Makoto received it in kind. They smiled at one other. She let out a laugh. He let out a laugh.

Makoto kept eye contact and then saw how the front of white t-shirt Ren was wearing was streaked with sweat; the white cotton bordered on the translucent. Makoto brought her hand closer. Ren's eyes followed what she was doing. She pinched the front of the shirt and detached it from his skin, and it just fell back again into its place. Ren smiled at her and took a hold of the shirt himself and let some air in.

”Okay, let's go”, Ren said, and walked past her towards the stairs. As he passed, the scent of his fresh sweat wafted into her nose and did something strange to her entire being. It was a manly scent, and a pleasant one, and Makoto's immediate reaction was pleasure and enjoyment. Yet it baffled her. She had heard and always thought that sweat was supposed to smell bad. Was she weird? Certainly she was imagining things. She couldn't have liked it.

She smelled her fingertips, just in case they held any of Ren's scent. Yes. Not bad. Not bad at all. Well, not disgusting, at least! Or was it? Was she herself disgusting because she enjoyed something so base as sweat?

She started walking and then adjusted her panties. She felt a bit uncomfortable, but she was afraid her own scent might stick, so it was an extra challenge to her manual dexterity.

Ren was very good at manual dexterity. At picking locks. And at other things. 

Mm.

Oh, Ren. Yes. He was already downstairs. She was still here in the attic, standing barefooted and thinking about — lockpicking, yes, lockpicking. And this was the first time she was here alone with Ren. What would Sojiro think of her now? Was she the silly little lady who liked the attic a little too much?

That rogue was a born thief, though.

Downstairs to Leblanc proper, Makoto, if you please.

Just a little whiff of that sweat from her fingers. It really did smell nice. Yes, it did.

Then she realized her shirt was still in her other hand. No wonder she'd had some trouble adjusting her panties. Note: when you're next about to interact with Ren Amamiya, please consider his effect on your mental faculties and prepare accordingly.

She pulled on the shirt with the same elegance that she had taken it off and set foot downstairs. Ren and Sojiro were at the counter, talking. Sojiro had taken off his apron and had on his usual pink shirt. He looked at her approach and welcomed her with his mellow presence. Apparently he did not yet see her as some eccentric hermit coming down from a mountain.

”I'm glad I got to still see you, Niijima-kun. As I said, I'm leaving now.” He then addressed them both. ”The curry is ready. I added some extra chili in there this time, so eat carefully. I hope you enjoy it.”

Makoto felt slightly dizzy again, but she couldn't quite place her finger on the reason. 

”Make sure you lock the door when she leaves, okay?” Sojiro said to Ren. ”And you, take care of yourself, young lady. And take care of him, too.”

”Can I brew some coffee, too?” Ren asked.

”Yes, you can. I mean, sure. Just make sure you do it properly. I don't want you making a travesty of it.”

”I will. I won't. Thank you. For everything, Sojiro-san.”

”Yes, thank you, Sakura-san. I appreciate your support. For the food and the trust.”

”You are most welcome, Makoto-chan. Please, call me Sojiro-san. I'm sure you will also make sure the delinquent here remembers to study”, Sojiro said, with some warm laughter in his voice — it warmed her heart to hear he clearly wasn't serious about the monicker.

”You can count on me, Sojiro-san.”

”Good. You strike me as someone who's good for him.” And to Ren, ”You should bring her here more often.” He put on his hat. ”Now then. Goodbye.”

From the door, turning his head so his right cheek faced them, he added, ”Don't make a mess”.

Even if Sojiro didn't suspect something already, it had become apparent that they had his blessing. He walked out and shut the door. Makoto kept staring at it for a few seconds in silence.

”An aphrodisiac”, Ren said.

”W-wait, what?”

”The chili. Sojiro usually makes his curry according to a special recipe. It isn't very hot, as you know.” He looked at her, and wiped some of his hair off from his face. The stubborn strands returned to where they were. He was cute. Very cute. ”Let's eat.”

She wanted to speak something, but she felt the heat in her own breath even as it just flowed in and out. Her chest felt heavy.

Ren look puzzled. And maybe a bit amused.

”Are you okay, Mako-chan?”

”H-huh! Yes! Let's eat! The curry must be wonderful!” She started toward the booth. ”Yes! I've been starving. Besides, one should eat before exercise. It's good for the metabolism — and the chili is too! Burns fat, helps muscle growth. So-sojiro-san must've thought about... that. Metabolism!”

He certainly looked amused now.

”Makoto, are you...?” 

”Oh, yes, I'm certainly quite beside myself.” She sat her butt down to the booth bench. ”Please. Food and water, please.”

”And coffee?”

”Certainly.”

Ren walked to his apron. The way she was seated, she only saw his upper body. He pulled the apron over his head and tied it behind his back.

”I'm thinking of something quite dark and full-bodied”, he said. 

Mmmm.

Wait, he was talking about coffee.

”Oh? That sounds... good. I think. I'd like to taste it.”

”Nicaraguan Caturra. It's somewhat earthy as well. I haven't tried it before! From what Sojiro told me, it probably goes well with the spiciness in the curry. Come over and take in the scent?”

She took some languid steps towards the counter and sat herself down again. Ren offered her the jar of beans and she placed her nose above it. Inhaling, she smelled a balanced earthy coffee, like Ren had said, but there was something rich and sweet in the aroma as well. She smelled it again and let the sweetness seduce her. She thought she smelled dark juicy cherry and toasted sugar.

”I'm intrigued. Certainly intrigued”, she said.

Ren weighed the beans and put them in a wooden manual grinder. With two hands, he pushed it along the counter toward her. Makoto put her hands on his. Their fingers intertwined. She smelled the dark aroma reminding her of cherries. They smiled at one another and kept eye contact.

Ren's eye were so blue — clear, beautiful blue, nested in what seemed like pure white, like most people's. But it was as if she had never seen white such as this. It wasn't exactly, really pure in execution, but it did feel like the whitest of whites. Then, both above and below, the white was lined by Ren's long, dark lashes. She sensed their miniscule movement not just with her eyes, but with something deeper in her that made her feel like her soul sang in response. The song joined in with the dance of the blue in his eyes and the darting back and forth of the pupils that focused on something in her face or her eyes. They seemed to reach out into her and to reveal themselves to her.

For some reason, it was a moment unlike any other that Makoto had experienced. The counter was between them. A random passer-by might see them from the Leblanc door window. And she felt vulnerable. Maybe it was the counter between them that made it impossible to immediately hug him or kiss him and so to temper the vulnerability with a touch. Maybe it was the Leblanc itself which didn't feel like their own private space. 

Or maybe it was how new and different and intangible it all felt. She had experienced life-threatening situations with this boy. She had faced Shadows, big and small, and the Yakuza. Yet, somehow this moment made her feel more vulnerable than ever before. In the Metaverse, she could shoot and hit and kick at Shadows and she had Anat. Now... it was just him and her. There was no opponent she could beat to oblivion. No visible danger she could dodge. 

It was the absolute intimacy which threatened her and from which she did not want to escape.

And she felt the same from Ren. In his eyes: how they got narrower, and how he blinked. The dance of the pupils changed to something less determined and more vulnerable.

She squeezed her right-hand fingers a little tighter around his. He returned the gesture. His eyes smiled, but it was not his usual confident smile. There was a resemblance, sure, but it felt as if he now surrendered himself to her fully. She felt a little uneasy herself.

It certainly did not feel bad as such. Rather, it was both enjoyable and uncomfortable, but she could not tell what the discomfort was about. It was something that flared up within him, and immediately crossed over to her. He probably shared the sensation, for he blinked, and looked down and kept his eyes shut. She kept looking into the eyes, but they stayed closed. His dark lashes resembled the unyielding guardians of something sacred.

Makoto squeezed his fingers with both hands. Ren squeezed back, tightly, and held the strong grip. He was shaking a little.

”Are you...?” she asked. 

”Mm”, he said. It sounded ambiguous. ”Let's make coffee.” 

A tear rolled down his right cheek.

Could Makoto pry further? Should she? Would it hurt him? Did he need it?

But he did say to make the coffee. She took the wooden grinder and looked at Ren.

”You know how. The settings are okay.”

He definitely wasn't okay. But maybe the right thing to do right now was to not pry further.

She started spinning the handle clockwise. The burrs grinded into the beans and gave some resistance. The physicality of the sensation, its certainty, returned her from her thoughts into the moment. It was as if she took hold a of saving hand after having almost drowned.

But why was she thinking about drowning? Makoto felt that she had just looked into her boyfriend's soul. Wasn't that supposed to feel good? From what she had heard, it was supposed to be the best thing in the world. Was Ren not the right person, then? Were they making a mistake?

She kept grinding. She looked at him in the eye and smiled. He smiled back and looked back, but his look wasn't as confident now. Their connection felt tentative.

She ground the last bean. The burrs rattled on empty.


End file.
